An Odd Reason People Don’t Invite You or Reach Out

One that has nothing to do with you at all

epiphany
5 min readMay 1, 2024
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

I’m always the one asking

Each week I reach out to a particular friend to join me for a weekly practice— the kind that is best if you bring a partner. I would only go if I had someone there who I enjoyed working with, so every Wednesday, I reach out to see if he is going. He traveled often so I always confirmed first.

Then I got injured.

Alas, life would have to wait until I was healed. I distracted myself with other things for the six weeks it took to recover.

The week I was ready to resume the practices, I picked up my phone to message my friend to see if he was going — and then it hit me.

Every week for the past three months, I was the one reaching out to him. He never invited me to join him or checked to see if I was going to these practices.

I was the only one initiating contact.

And when I suddenly disappeared for 6 weeks, I didn’t hear a word from him.

I didn’t realize just how one-sided this friendship was.

Or was it?

I clearly demonstrated that I valued spending time with him and wanted to work with him at…

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